Hold the Fries?

One caveat to this post: I am not a nutritionist or a doctor. This is advice based on what has worked (thusfar) for me. If you want to make a well-educated decision, please consult your doctor, nutritionist or tv psychic.

Probably the biggest moral quandary for us gainers is reconciling our desire to be bigger with our desire to live long, healthy lives.

I know, for some guys even mentioning the word “healthy” takes all of the fun out of the gainer fantasy—after all, there aren’t exactly any hot gainer stories about how Brad the fattening jock was able to devour three bowls of humus.

But hey, eventually fantasy runs into the brick wall of reality.

As I described in my post back in January (“Risky Business”), it is possible to get bigger and stay reasonably healthy. Now it’s time to talk about how to do it.

Don’t worry, I won’t suggest that you need to ditch the late night burger runs and pizza binges. Those are great and should be a treat for yourself whether you’re gaining or not. Life is short (70-some trips around the sun if you’re lucky), so why not enjoy dessert?

But if McDonald’s is becoming the base of your food pyramid, then you might be in trouble. There are actually a lot of little tricks you can play to make sure your body is getting the nutrients and exercise it needs to stay healthy, while keeping the calorie in/out ratio in your favor.

That’s really the key to it all, anyway. Gaining weight is all about putting more calories in than you expend—so folks can finally stop IMing me to ask this question.

CALORIES IN

So what does a healthy gainer diet look like?

Well, to start with, there’s a lot you can do to improve the nutrients your body is getting without losing precious calories.

Start by cutting down on processed foods and stick to some of the naturally occurring ones that are high in calories/fat (a quick google search will tell you all you need to know). A good rule: If you can’t pronounce it, you probably shouldn’t be eating it (that goes for you, Butylated hydroxyanisole).

For my money, the real key to gaining without totally jacking up your fat intake (and bad cholesterol levels) is through a dieters worst enemy: carbs.

I fondly remember when I joined the cross country team in high school and the night before my first big meet, we went over to the coach’s house for “carbo-loading.” It was as if I’d died and gone to heaven. He had this massive bowl of pasta and everyone went back for seconds and thirds and then some. Of course, in that instance, carbs were being used to give us all energy for the next day’s run.

Carbs in general are not unhealthy—but combined with an inactive lifestyle, they can add poundage pretty quick, which is where they got the bad rap from (there is also a diabetes risk associated, so again, check with your doctor).

Breads, pastas, rice and potatoes are all relatively healthy and packed with carbohydrates (so are lots of vegetables). For a healthier twist, try whole grain breads and brown rice sometimes. Same great calories, but more of the good stuff your body wants.

A healthy gainer diet requires a bit of creativity.

Trail mix can have the same caloric content as a candy bar, but with a lot more good nutrients and less refined sugar.

Dieters hate dried fruit, because those tiny little things pack so many calories—healthy gainer win.

A friend of mine recently sang the praises of the standard rice and beans combo. It’s the only food outside of meat that has all 20 amino acids that make up proteins and its calorie rich. Good news for you vegetarian gainer folk.

I actually try to have at least a few salads a week. Salads are a great way to load up on lots of unprocessed (or minimally-processed) good-for-you foods in their most nutrient-rich raw form.

The key to a good salad is simple: skip the lettuce. Lettuce is a useless veggie—it’s one step above celery. It has a few calories, but mostly it’s just filler for people on diets.

Start with a little lettuce as a base, then load it up with nutrient-rich (and high-caloric) additions. Peas, garbanzo beans, kidney beans, corn, almonds, walnuts, cashews, eggs, cheese and meat are all pretty calorie-rich. Avocado is like the healthy gainer holy grail—high in natural fat and calories—so don’t be stingy with it.

Then throw in some carrots, tomatoes and broccoli cause, well, you know, they’re good for you. For good measure, douse it in a tasty dressing. And try eating it with some bread or rice so you don’t miss out on those awesome carbs.

Be creative. At the end of the day, healthy gaining is about eating the same stuff healthy skinny people eat—just more of it.

CALORIES OUT

The truth: cardio workouts help you live longer.

The good news: cardio workouts don’t necessarily make you lose weight.

The bad news: cardio workouts are a pain in the ass.

Yes, working out is essential to being a healthy gainer. Study after study shows us that, even when controlling for weight, a person who is active and works out regularly will live longer than someone who doesn’t.

Now when I say work out, I’m not referring to lifting weights. Yes, there are health benefits to lifting (particularly in strengthening your body to deal with extra weight), but they aren’t linked to your cardiovascular health. Lifting is mostly a means to achieving a physical look.

So that means in addition to leading an active lifestyle, it’s important to get some good cardio workouts into your schedule. I shoot for 2-3 times per week, but everyone’s different (one is better than none, right?)

If you hate doing cardio, try switching it up to find a workout you like. Biking and jogging are good ways to get outdoors. Elliptical and stair-stepper machines are good gym standbys (the former is especially good for those who are looking for a work out that will be friendly on their feet and shins).

I know some of you are probably thinking that if you do cardio, it will make it even harder to gain weight. It might be true for some, but studies are showing that working out actually doesn’t have a major impact on weight loss. This may have to do with the primitive ways that our bodies deal with fat storage and loss (read this NY Times article for more info).

And even if cardio did make things a little bit harder, at the end of the day, it’s worth the extra effort. When you’re starting to reach your heart attack years, you’ll have greater peace of mind knowing that you kept your heart strong—even if it came at the expense of a faster gain.

When constructing a workout regimen, make sure it works around your own hunger cycles. Try eating a nice big meal a couple hours before working out to boost your energy.

Most people get hungry right after a moderate work out (I once ate an entire three-foot-long baguette on my 15-minute walk home from the gym, but that’s another story for another time), so if you find you’re not hungry after a hard workout, it might help to take it a little easier. If you find you get those post-workout hunger pangs, make sure you’ve got a big meal waiting at home.

As you begin to grow, it’s important to start taking care of your body parts that are under increasing strain. That mostly means your poor, poor feet.

Invest in shoes that give you the maximum support so that being active and working out doesn’t have to cause you pain or leave your feet overly sore (I highly recommend anything by New Balance). Also, be aware that yes, as you get fatter, your feet can get fatter. Don’t try to cram your fat feet into a narrow shoe. Plenty of mainstream brands now carry EE shoes, so it’s not hard to find your style in a wide.

Be kind to your feet. You only get two of them.

Like I said above, I’m not a medical expert. If you’re having serious questions about your health, talk to your doctor (but also remember that he/she can have their own biases, so it’s good to get a second opinion).

What kind of tips do you all have? Any good foods or workout routines that have worked for you? Any general advice for those trying to chunk up and stay healthy?

Community, or Something Like It

Last weekend, some friends and I held a couple informal gainer bar nights in NYC. They were ostensibly for my birthday/someone else’s birthday/a homecoming from Argentina/the arrival of spring, but mostly they were just an excuse to get a good group of guys from the community together to hang.

I had invited a friend from the frat who was apprehensive about showing up. He’s pretty new to all this and on top of that, he had kinda-sorta ignored a few guys who might be there. Plus there was one guy he had put off meeting for so long he was now embarrassed by it.

But for some reason, he mustered up the courage to make an appearance.

It was a friendly gathering of about 30 guys from out of town and nearby, and he ended up having a good time—which, I later found out, took him by surprise.

I take it for granted that community get-togethers with fellow gainers/encouragers are fun, so afterward, I asked him why he was shocked that he had enjoyed himself.

“I was surprised by how nice it was to be around like-minded people,” he said. “There was a small part of my brain that I don’t normally notice that just, sort of, relaxed.”

Someone once asked me what I meant every time I referred to a “gainer community.” I had never really been forced to define it, so I struggled with an answer at the time. But I think my friend hit the nail on the head.

There’s just something about being around guys who get all this—and realizing that you’re part of something that is greater than the sum of its parts—that makes all this crazy shit just feel… right.

COMMUNITY SHMOMMUNITY

I’ve thrown around the world “community” a lot on this blog without giving much thought to what that means to people. The truth is, the very idea of a gainer/encourager community can be pretty elusive.

After all, what kind of community exists almost entirely on the internet, with only periodic meetings of, say, 1 percent of its members?

Ours is a community that defies geography, culture and language—aside from picking up survival phrases like “Ich liebe fette bauche,” my German remains pretty poor.

So what kind of model is this disjointed, incohesive, dispersed mix of men for a real community?

Well fortunately, we’ve already got a model for such a thing: the gay community.

Despite our vast differences, gainers/encouragers are all still connected some level—connected by desire; by our collective coming-of-age experience; by our “outsider” status. It’s an connection not unlike that in the gay community. It’s hard to quantify, but any of you who’ve been to Expansion or come out to a gainer bar night or luncheon somewhere have probably experienced it.

This isn’t to say that you must be surrounded by lots of gainers/encouragers to feel part of the community, but there’s something about being in a group of like-minded guys that just puts you at ease. To be able to say whatever’s on your mind and know not only that you won’t be judged, but that you’ll find affirmation and support from your peers.

It’s a pretty spectacular feeling.

But there’s also another side to the coin.

While I was thrilled that my newbie friend decided to make an appearance at the bar night, I also knew plenty of others who couldn’t muster the courage to come. A few suddenly got very Catholic. Some had last-minute emergencies. Some just didn’t show.

The truth is that like anything in life, the idea of the gainer community is a little bit yin, a little bit yang. At the same time that it is empowering, exciting and mentally relaxing, it can also be intimidating and downright scary—especially for those who are new. Again, kind of like the gay community.

I still remember my first brush with the real-world gay community. I was probably 15 and my parents let me take the bus into San Francisco to visit the main library there for a school project. I took the MUNI Metro past the station for the library, intentionally missing my stop so that I could ride through the Castro street station (which is underneath the main gayborhood in SF).

I didn’t dare get off the train, or look around too eagerly. That would have been too real for me. So I just rode through, got off at the next stop and turned around and came back for a second look.

It would be two more years before I came out and actually decided to embrace my sexuality, my identity and my community.

All of that is to say that the very idea of a gay community was something I couldn’t fathom being a part of at the time. Getting off the train and being in that kind of gay space was a bigger step than I was willing to take.

Obviously things changed over time, and that same kind of growth and acceptance happens in the gainer community as well.

I think some of the guys who didn’t show last weekend just weren’t ready to get off the train.

IT TAKES A VILLAGE

Fifty years ago it would have been laughable to describe the hodge-podge of gay men who were sprinkled throughout the cities of the world—seeking out camaraderie and pleasure in parks and dimly lit bars—a community.

But something transformational happened as gay men and lesbians began to become self-aware, to understand their desires, and seek out deeper relationships with their kind. Somewhere along the way, being gay went from everyone’s dirty little secret, to something they could embrace. Even be proud of.

Say what you will about the concept of “gay pride,” but the very idea sprouted from a rejection of the shame that came from being closeted, from resenting your desires and fighting to keep them at the back of your mind. The movement helped shape the more accepting communities that we live in today.

When I see the kind of changes that have happened in the gainer/encourager community—the sheer increase in the number of guys with profiles online, the prevalence of gainers and encouragers in relationships with each other, the emergence of groups of friends all over—I can’t help but see some parallels to those early days of the gay community.

Certainly ours is smaller and more focused (both of which, I consider to be good things). And I don’t mean to say that being a gainer/encourager is the same thing as identifying as gay.

But the parallels between the changes in both communities give me hope.

Today, we live in a country where vastly more men are OK with the idea of being out about being gay than even one generation ago. I can only imagine what the next few decades will spell out for the gainer/encourager community.

That excitement was underscored by something my newbie friend (who is the gainer equivalent of being deeply closeted) said after the bar night. He said that he had something of an “a-ha” moment from being immersed in a big group of like-minded guys for the first time.

“It made the whole thing real. It was just like ohhh these guys are people—that just so happen to think something specific is sexy, that I find sexy,” he said. “Before, I saw people into this as sort of hook ups. But now, the idea of a gainer boyfriend sounds more appealing. It makes me want to take all this more seriously.”

And that gives me hope.